Human interest piece: Randian libertarians are hilarious

This is just some Sunday light reading to wrap up your weekend and keep you in a good mood.

So Will shoots me a link with the rather frightening headline “Libertarian freedom activist forcibly hospitalized and drugged,” which understandably alarmed me. I mean, we all recall the famed G20 kidnapping videos, and I was worried that we had another example coming. The article starts off innocently enough, a Galt-worshiper passing out pamphlets and getting harassed by police. Then things take a turn for the wacky.

As Heicklen always does when faced with arrest, he dropped to the ground and went limp and silent.

In the past, he was arrested, handcuffed, placed on a gurney and transported to a hospital where he was examined and eventually released in time to be home later the same day.

But this time something different happened. “I remained in that position for over an hour,” Heicklen says, “before I was lifted onto a gurney and strapped securely. I was never handcuffed nor received a citation or summons. It was an out-and-out kidnapping.”

At Bellevue Psychiaytric Hospital he remained nonresponsive to questions.

Around 3:00 PM, radio reporter Chris Goldstein called to say that he would start the publicity rolling.

After 4:00 PM or so, Heicklen continues, “I made a fuss to see someone in charge, so that I could either be released or brought in front of a magistrate. My requests were ignored, and became more persistent. Against my wishes four attendants grabbed me and gave me a shot of Thorazine to calm me down. It worked, I got an excellent night’s sleep.”

So, let’s review. This guy’s protesting, goes catatonic on the ground for over an hour, the police take him to the hospital. He becomes agitated, so they give him a mild sedative. According to him, this constitutes kidnapping and drugging.

Here’s a tip to any prospective “freedom activists” out there. The police aren’t the enemy. They often don’t know what to do if you start acting like an asshole, so if you don’t want to get zapped, fire hosed, tear gassed, pepper sprayed, or hospitalized, it’d be a good idea to not like an asshole. This is like when you get a bunch of hippies throwing hacky sacks at the SWAT team and then they get all surprised that the tear gas cannon comes out.

Also, here’s how he closed his report.

Warning: You should know that The Federal Protective Service is intercepting my e-mails. Another violation of our civil liberties.

Might as well have said THE GOVERNMENT IS AFRAID OF ME BECAUSE I’M FROM THE FUTURE.