For our more sensitive readers, said language will be after the bump. However, I would suggest you all read this story on Bloomberg (and this handy distillation of the story on the Consumerist).
Here are some particularly interesting tidbits:
“Bonuses were determined based upon the performance and the retention of people, and there is nothing that happened in the world or the economy that would make you say that those were not the right thing to do for the retention and the reward of the people who were performing,”[former Merrill Lynch CEO John] Thain said, according to the transcript.
After the top four recipients received $121 million, the next four received a combined $62 million, he said, and the next six a combined $66 million.
Overall, the top 149 people who got bonuses received a combined $858 million, according to Cuomo’s letter. He said 696 people got bonuses of $1 million or more.
Cuomo said the bonuses were set Dec. 8 and not adjusted later when it turned out pretax losses were $7 billion more than expected. Merrill reported Jan. 16 that it lost $15.31 billion in the fourth quarter and $27 billion for the year.
Ahem…
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU YOU GREEDY MOTHERFUCKERS I HOPE YOU EVIL, OUT-OF-TOUCH MARIE ANTOINETTE-SOUNDING MOTHERFUCKERS BURN FUCK YOU YOU EVIL GREEDY SHITHEADS COMING OUT OF THIS CRISIS WITH SEVEN EIGHT AND NINE FIGURE BANK ACCOUNTS AFTER CAUSING AN ECONOMIC DISASTER THAT HAS AND WILL DISRUPT AND RUIN THOUSANDS IF NOT MILLIONS OF LIVES. FUCK YOU JOHN THAIN YOU EVIL SHIT AND YOUR EXPENSIVE FUCKING OFFICE YOU DESERVE NO BETTER THAN TO BE RUN OVER THAN AN IKEA TRUCK I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU REPRESENT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!
Okay, I’m calm now. I don’t have any other commentary to contribute, except to say that the half-full bottle of scotch in my kitchen will very soon be less-than-half-full.
-Will
You seem tense, Will. Is something the matter?