Dear conservatives: a friendly letter from Hanlon

Dear conservatives, specifically in the media,

We need to patch things up, or at least get some kind of a respectful dialog going. I know things often get rough and tumble as we sit on either side of the fence, demonizing one another and setting things up as more of a football game than a discourse with competing ideals in which both parties are genuinely searching for the right answer.

That said, I’m not convinced we’re all playing with the same set of rules. By way of evidence, let me point you all toward a recent exchange between Ann Coulter and Alan Colmes on Fox News.

Coulter, who had previously noted that Obama “also said that this was to ‘reboot’ our relations with the Muslim world,” insisted in response, “It can not simultaneously be a hate crime to use a man’s middle name and … for him to say ‘this is going to change our relations with the Muslim world.’”

“Ann,” Colmes finally said in frustration, “I think you are a hate crime.”

“Thank you,” Coulter replied smugly.

I’m not going to talk about Obama’s middle name (not here, anyway), the point is that last little bit. One could make the case that a “journalist” like Colmes shouldn’t have called Coulter a “hate crime” for various reasons, Coulter’s response exposes the root of the problem. It’s not that we all disagree, even vehemently, it’s that it seems some on your side exist for no other reason than to attack.

I’ve followed Coulter fairly closely, seen her “perform” live and read through her books. What I’ve noticed about her is that she’s not a political commentator like a Hannity, O’Reilly, Olbermann, or even a Mike Malloy. In all of her writings, rantings, ravings, and ramblings, I’ve never heard Coulter actually talk about issues. She doesn’t discuss the flat tax or take a thoughtfully considered explanation of why success in Iraq is paramount to American security.

All of you on the right need to understand this. Somewhere along the lines you found it admirable to piss off liberals, and determined that doing so was more important than anything else. Coulter’s career and her celebration in the conservative media seem to indicate that a whole lot of you find entertainment in antagonizing the “opponent” and have elevated that pursuit to prominence in what should be a news station.

Here’s what I’m getting at. If at any point you find yourself writing something, or talking about something, that exists solely to piss of a liberal, then step back and ask what your goal is. Over here I admit that angry conservative comments often hit home with a tick of pride, but only when it comes in response to an article that’s focused on something salient with an actual take-home message that means something.

I could easily take the lazy, Coulter (and often Limbaugh) route of coming up with whatever I could to simply be an asshole towards the right. There’s certainly no lack of material, from drug-addled Rush to the perverted O’Reilly, calling Bush a cokehead or Cheney a drunken attempted murderer, assailing the various sex scandals that have rocked the party lately. I could go into how bizarrely man-like Coulter herself looks or speculate that Hannity waves giant flags to cover for his small penis that he inserts into cabbage patch dolls. It wouldn’t be hard to simply be mean. Anyone who went through elementary school knows how to be vicious.

At some point, you guys confused “mean” for “impassioned”. I and many others are passionate about that which we write. I don’t spare any feelings here and I’m not the most diplomatic when I get on a roll. But what I want to stress is that this comes as a side effect of talking about things that I feel are important. I try to refrain from calling Bush a drunken retard, but I’ll certainly tear him a new one for a swath of midnight regulations that seem to do little but make things harder for the incoming Obama.

Deep down, I’d love to see the liberals and conservatives of America be able to sit down and have a nice discussion. We could all have a chit chat and talk about foreign policy or taxes, oil drilling and religion. It’d be great. At the end, some issues woudl have a solution, some wouldn’t, but the point is progress would be made. It ain’t gonna happen when you guys keep thinking that honest debate is less important than making the other side mad. For the love of all that’s holy, stop holding up these screeching windbags as heroes of your movement. Rage toward the other guy isn’t a substitute for passion for your own ideals. Get it through your damn heads.

Love,

Hanlon

PS This is a lot like our big disagreement on whether or not we can use diplomacy towards our enemies abroad. You’re applying the “bomb Iran” philosophy to political debate, and it’s working just as well here as it’s been working there. Keep that in mind.