All right, Democrats. I understand you want to keep everyone happy, and I know that you’re still buzzing off of your recent victory, but delaying the start of the new Congress so some of the representatives can catch a football game is, well, a little less than encouraging.

“There is a very important event happening Monday night, particularly for those who live in Ohio and Florida. In the spirit of comity, and I know if Maryland were playing, I would want to be accommodated and I want to accommodate my friend, Mr. Boehner,” [House Majority Leader Steny] Hoyer said in reference to new House Minority Leader John Boehner, R-Ohio.

Right, right. We want to be friendly and hey, everyone likes football. That proves you really do care about a sense of community or whatever, and it’ll probably help the communities involved in the game to know that their representatives are right there with them cheering on the home team. But what about that five day business? Remember that? Full work week?

Hoyer said despite the decision this week, he intends to make a five-day work week, or as close to it, standard operating procedure.

Okay first off, this sounds like the New Years Resolutionist who really wants to start going to the gym but starts off by staying home (to watch football, let’s say), but makes sure to let you know “I’m really gonna start going next week!!”. Secondly, “as close to it”? It’s five days, guys, even knocking off one day is a 20% drop in productivity. I can’t imagine trying to wangle that in any normal job.

“Hey, Mr Hillard? Yeah, it’s Steve. Look, I have to catch the WWF match tonight, but I’ll be in tomorrow. Oh, and I can’t really guarantee I’ll be in five days a week, but I’ll make it as often as I can.”

Dammit, Democrats.