All right, Democrats. I understand you want to keep everyone happy, and I know that you’re still buzzing off of your recent victory, but delaying the start of the new Congress so some of the representatives can catch a football game is, well, a little less than encouraging.

“There is a very important event happening Monday night, particularly for those who live in Ohio and Florida. In the spirit of comity, and I know if Maryland were playing, I would want to be accommodated and I want to accommodate my friend, Mr. Boehner,” [House Majority Leader Steny] Hoyer said in reference to new House Minority Leader John Boehner, R-Ohio.

Right, right. We want to be friendly and hey, everyone likes football. That proves you really do care about a sense of community or whatever, and it’ll probably help the communities involved in the game to know that their representatives are right there with them cheering on the home team. But what about that five day business? Remember that? Full work week?

Hoyer said despite the decision this week, he intends to make a five-day work week, or as close to it, standard operating procedure.

Okay first off, this sounds like the New Years Resolutionist who really wants to start going to the gym but starts off by staying home (to watch football, let’s say), but makes sure to let you know “I’m really gonna start going next week!!”. Secondly, “as close to it”? It’s five days, guys, even knocking off one day is a 20% drop in productivity. I can’t imagine trying to wangle that in any normal job.

“Hey, Mr Hillard? Yeah, it’s Steve. Look, I have to catch the WWF match tonight, but I’ll be in tomorrow. Oh, and I can’t really guarantee I’ll be in five days a week, but I’ll make it as often as I can.”

Dammit, Democrats.

Well, for me anyway. Sort of. I’m in Pittsburgh, and my family is chiefly in Johnstown, PA. My stepfather, a marine (gunny no less, like R. Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket, hoo rah), told me yesterday afternoon that Dick Cheney had flown in to hunt, and now it looks like the media’s picked up on it.

Cheney was to fly into Arnold Palmer Regional Airport after his morning briefing in Washington, his spokeswoman, Lee Ann McBride, told the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review.

Cheney will hunt at the private Rolling Rock Club in Ligonier Township, about 45 miles east of Pittsburgh, where he has hunted several times in recent years for pheasants and ducks.

Obviously, and tragically, we peons weren’t/aren’t allowed to go over there and join in on the festivities. Which is probably for the best, for the no-duh reason Yahoo (and I’m willing to bet just about every other news source) naturally felt obligated to mention:

Last year, Cheney wounded attorney Harry Whittington with shotgun pellets during a quail hunting trip in Texas. Whittington recovered.

Poor guy. Can’t go hunting without the world talking about the fact that he almost killed someone the last time he went hunting. Bet that really sours your mood. Damn liberal media, ruining a man’s hobby just because he shot an old man in the face while doing it before and had possibly been drunk at the time.

I can’t help but wonder if he’s been trying to go out for the past few months, only to have the Secret Service and others say “Uh, Dick, maybe you should wait a little while before trying that again.”

Real shame, too. I would have loved to drop by, just for the potential story: “CHENEY DOES IT AGAIN, SHOOTS LIBERAL BLOGGER IN HUNTING “ACCIDENT”.”

Sigh. I’m trying to move away from post after post about Bush, since that’s kind of an easy and cheap shot these days, but this is just too perfect. ThinkProgress, those overly anal-retentive moonbats, picked up this gem of Bush in 2005, speaking on the subject of sending more troops to Iraq. Complete with video!

Some Americans ask me, if completing the mission is so important, why don’t you send more troops? If our commanders on the ground say we need more troops, I will send them. But our commanders tell me they have the number of troops they need to do their job. Sending more Americans would undermine our strategy of encouraging Iraqis to take the lead in this fight. And sending more Americans would suggest that we intend to stay forever, when we are, in fact, working for the day when Iraq can defend itself and we can leave. As we determine the right force level, our troops can know that I will continue to be guided by the advice that matters: the sober judgment of our military leaders.

The most brilliant thing the Republican party ever did was convince the country in 2004 that Bush was a man of steadfast resolve who never reversed his position on anything. I’d laugh if the other half of the punchline weren’t thousands of dead bodies.

It looks like the ol’ stem cell debate may have a solution. Scientists have discovered that they exist in amniotic fluid, which also means the major point of contention may vanish.

Researchers at Wake Forest University and Harvard University reported Sunday that the stem cells they drew from amniotic fluid donated by pregnant women hold much the same promise as embryonic stem cells.

They reported they were able to extract the stem cells from the fluid, which cushions babies in the womb, without harm to mother or fetus and turn their discovery into several different tissue cell types, including brain, liver and bone.

Now this angers me. My favorite part of stem cell research was that it would destroy millions, billions, or possibly trillions of potential babies. I was hoping that it would be the only viable option simply so fetus harvesting could become a lucrative business, thus driving up the number of abortions that I love so dearly.

…wait, hold on. I think I slipped into Straw Man Liberal for a moment, there. What I meant to say is that I hope that this line proves every bit as useful as the embryonic line, so it can be federally funded and cures can be discovered without any kind of political wrangling holding it back.