Folks, I feel silly that it took me this long to come around, but here it is. After believing in Global Warming for years now, I have seen the light. Most surprisingly, it came in the form of a single-panel political cartoon I found on the web. Here it is.

My god, it’s so simple! I have never heard that argument before! Until this very moment, I had never seen anyone use the incredibly astute observation that it still gets cold late in the year, and thus invalidates the entire theory of Global Warming!

See, I had foolishly believed that a global average temperature increase of 2 degrees would be fairly unnoticeable given the changing of seasons, but oh how wrong I was. It seemed logical that if winter averages -20 degrees Fahrenheit on a given day, upping it to -18 would be hard to notice. But no, no, no. You see, I was unaware that an offshoot of Global Warming is the complete eradication of seasonal weather changes.

The Earth normally has a tilted axis that causes the seasons. During the winter, a given portion of the globe is tilted away from the sun and that makes it colder. Then the tilt changes and the seasons flip around. What I didn’t realize was that if global warming was true, it would actually straighten the tilt and turn the planet into a cylinder so it all got warmer at the same time and there would be no winter at all anywhere. After all, it’s called Global WARMING. How can it be real if it’s not always warm?

I had also, for some reason, thought that the average temperature increase would be an AVERAGE. Mathematically, that would mean that even if the coldest days stayed the same or even got a little colder, if the warmer days were warmer than normal then the average would still go up. To use a horribly ill thought out example (I’m embarrassed to admit I thought of it), if normally your winters average 20 degrees F and your summers average 90 degrees F, the year averages to 55 degrees F. If the next year the winter gets colder, down to 19 degrees F, but the summer temp averages 95 degrees F, now the year’s temperature is 57 degrees F and that’s an increase.

Wrong again! Clearly, for Global Warming to be true, EVERY day would have to blazingly hot. Oh sure, some of the matharazzis would say that if every day is 95 degrees, that would actually be an average temperature increase of roughly 40 degrees in our example, but that’s just the alarmists trying to ignore the plain and simple truth: if Global Warming were real, why is it cold outside?

Take THAT, Al Gore! Your charts and scientifically reviewed studies simply don’t stand up to this bulletproof logic.